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Dating online > 25 years > Why do i need validation from guys

Why do i need validation from guys

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I should be over him, right? I just really want him to see me? How can I stop seeking his validation all the time? Why do I want his attention? Hi Sofia, thanks for sharing.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: ♡ How I overcame seeking validation from men...


The psychology behind seeking validation (and Why YOU need it?)

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Trying to figure out how to stop seeking validation was always impossible for me. This crumb would not only save me from myself, but it would invalidate everyone and everything that had ever caused me pain including the cynical audience in my head. Life could finally begin. Validation seeking is a form of perfectionism and perfection is the lowest standard that you can ever hold yourself to.

We become perfection-addicted because deep down, we know that we can never be perfect. So what do we do? Must be chosen. Must prove wrong. Must get the cat to bark. When you live your life exclusively based on a force outside of your control the opinions of others , you give up your right to take action, attract mutual, available relationships , and find meaning within.

You willingly commit spiritual and emotional suicide. I used to be dependent on both positive and negative validation to take ANY action in my life. I needed the validation of lovers and friends to propel me into action as well as the validation of the doubters and haters to propel me into proving them wrong. I was the most reliant on validation in my romantic relationships. And because I never got more than a dirty drop of water from the empty well that was my emotionally and empathetically bankrupt partner, I relied heavily on negative validation in the form of snooping and investigating.

Because I never felt valid in the relationship, I made it my mission to attain that well-deserved validation now that we were broken up. None of the above ever happened. The only thing that occurred as a result of seeking this kind of validation was a complete disintegration of my self-respect and a valid license for my ex to victimize himself and write me off as certifiable.

Reading the above bullet points exhausts and embarrasses me. Everyone needs boundaries, standards, and limits. I had NONE. I encountered this in friendships as well. I kept attracting situations that catered to my fear of abandonment and solidified the belief that I was forgettable.

Today, I no longer validation seek. I finally got an emotional life of my own. And because I can now take care of my own emotional needs and validate myself, I no longer need anyone to tell me who I am or give me an assessment of my worth.

I gained access back to my own. Neil Strauss said something to me a once that changed my life. Guess who the only person is that has that power? You are the only one who knows it all — all of your secrets, failures, experiences, triggers, fears, shortcomings, etc. No one will heal you more or better than you can heal yourself, right now. Look, listen, and ACT. If you know that what someone did was hurtful, wrong, disrespectful and unkind, WHY do you need the other person to validate YOUR judgment?

The moment that you realize you are going to have to be the emotional training wheels for a grown adult, RUN. All it takes is acting upon your intuition ONE TIME and your backbone, confidence, self-respect, and self-love will unconditionally build. Speak with your actions, pick up the pieces of your broken heart, and move on. The only reason that I ever needed validation from a lover, an ex or friend was because I placed no value on my own judgment, intuition, opinions, feelings, eyes, ears and SELF.

Wipe the memories from your eyes as they stream down your face, have your own back, hold into your dignity for dear life. Make a decision and respect that decision by acting on it. And THAT my friends, is how you build the kind of confidence, allure, and dimension that supersedes ANY physical attribute which will always, fade with time. Your strength and beauty are timeless.

Natasha, thank you so much for the words of wisdom and encouragement. Every post is life changing. Natasha, I was going throw a hard breakup and this blog helped me to stand on my feet, I even saw my ex by excdient couple days ago and because of this blog I was strong enough to not even say hi I was in another point one year ago.

Wow, I definitely got goosebumps reading this. It really hit home. Imagine if we expend that on ourselves, so untouchable and so badass.

Perfect post Natasha! You look gorge! I finally cut him off and i know this time is for good and i feel so much better, stronger, empowered. Thanks, Natasha! Hi Lori! No more stagnation.

Sending you so much love. Every time I get a notification in my email about a new post I quickly come and read! I have been following your blog since October and I can tell you today I have done a complete You have saved me days, weeks, and months of misery by helping me get back on my feet and continue to pull through. There were days where I would come to the blog multiple times and re-read several posts to help me feel better and stop the crying.

Thanks to your relatable words and watching you live your life gave, you gave me hope that the pain would pass. Self-Love is amazing. I am in awe of the light that you are. LOVE to you soul sis. Love you Natasha! Reading your blog has helped me so much these last 7 months after the breakup with my ex.

I'm in a more happy place now and actually got mutual loving relationship with my new bf. I'm so gratefull for everything you've shared! I thought my new bf was so sweet and everything I wished for, but I see now that he is just as emotional unavailable as my ex. He was so sweet in the beginning, but just like mye ex he has showed who he is over time.

He has actually ignored me for a week now, and I know that I have to let him go. Reading your posts are really helping with reminding me that I have to keep my boundaries and love my self. Hi Mishaell! Just keep coming back here to the blog and know that you are loved, supported and never alone.

As always, your blog hits home. Thank you for being so amazing and authentic…. But when I read this.. So much of stress just because I needed someone to validate me! Now I realize that even going through so much of stuff and still being alive and smiling is indeed a trait of strength. Thank you so much for making me understand this…I have moved a few steps forward towards peace. Such a beautiful and insightful read! This left me feeling more empowered.

Social media and break ups are the worst. Thank you for your wise words. Hi Karlee! Sending you lots of love. Hi Natasha, another fantastic blog that hits home as always. Only we can do that for ourselves. I no longer want or need that cat to bark! Hi Marie!! You're an inspiration to me Marie.

You're incredible. Love you sister. You have put into words, what I have been grappling with for years. Thank you. Now I have a place to start. Hi Michelle! Thank you for allowing me to feel less alone in something that I struggled with for far too long. You got this! I reread this many times. And when you think of it, men always seem to do just whatever they want.

13 Ways To Stop Seeking The Approval Of Others & Feel Super Confident

I have a desire to be adored by men. As an adolescent, these expectations ran through my head constantly. Pathetic, right? I felt happy and successful when I had at least one or two guys crushing on me. As a feminist, it pains me to admit that I got so much validation from male attention.

As I progress into my young adult life, and further, into my womanhood, I find myself more and more aware of the need to be validated in my every day, whether in the workplace, academically or socially. I can only speak from personal experience, but hopefully by writing this I can begin to uncover the truths of my experiences. What I know is that, through various conversations I have had with fellow women, the feeling of needing to be validated is not a singular experience.

Approval is like a killer drug. It becomes addictive and you quickly develop a need for more. When you have a need for approval you value the beliefs, opinions and needs of others above your own. Their opinion of your is far more important to you than your own view of yourself.

Hey there, I’m Sim

No matter who you are, dating can be a rough ordeal. We all try our best to be the most attractive version of ourselves, glossing over our faults and unpleasant memories, stressing whatever traits we think will win us brownie points with the person across the table. But what if the feeling of wanting to get your date's approval never goes away? Yes, most people put on a bit of a facade as they're getting to know someone, but real intimacy starts to blossom when both people in an early relationship start letting each other in. If you find yourself writhing with stress a few months into a relationship, constantly feeling like you're going to be "found out," you may be struggling with a pervasive need for external approval. Here, signs your need for approval is sabotaging your love life. The sentiment has a basis in social science, however.

13 Approval seeking behaviours you need to stop

When we get rejected, treated poorly, or someone blows hot and cold in a relationship with us, we often become stuck and fixated on that person. Usually when this happens, our interest in this person turns into a fevered obsession and we go to great lengths to get them to notice us. We will engage in shape shifting behaviours, where we stop being ourselves and try to turn into whatever we think they might like best. We will jump through hoop after hoop hoping to demonstrate just how special and unique we are, so that they will change their minds about us.

Trying to figure out how to stop seeking validation was always impossible for me.

Whether you're trying to get hundreds of likes on Instagram or hoping to connect with someone on Tinder, sometimes it can seem like our happiness depends on other people in today's society. But there are ways to stop seeking approval of others. The key is to begin with addressing your own thought process.

I’m in Love. But I Still Crave the Attention of Other Men.

Some of us care way too much about what other people think of us. We could all learn to care a little bit less about the opinion of others. You march to the beat of your own drum.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Seeking Validation from Your Ex

I wrote this in response to a post from David at How to Beast. I had this problem myself for many years. Mainly, you care too much about the opinions of other people. Not only their opinions, but their approval. If you continue down this path of seeking endless validation…you will be easily used and manipulated by others, no better than a puppet on a string.


Speak your heart out. Trying to please people will drain your energy. Mark questioned if the food will be good. Neither of us had tried the food at this place before. Yet, I nodded in agreement like a cute dog. Similarly, you might regularly confirm your choice of clothes with someone else.

In today's video, we're going to be discussing what to do when you feel the need to be validated as a man Dec 22, - Uploaded by Bulldog Mindset.

Прямо перед ним, откинувшись на груду старых подушек, лежал пожилой человек с ярко-белой гипсовой повязкой на правом запястье. ГЛАВА 21 Голос американца, звонившего Нуматаке по прямой линии, казался взволнованным: - Мистер Нуматака, в моем распоряжении не больше минуты.

- Хорошо. Полагаю, вы получили обе копии ключа. - Вышла небольшая заминка, - сказал американец.


Сьюзан посмотрела на корпус ТРАНСТЕКСТА, видневшийся справа. Шум генераторов, расположенных восемью этажами ниже, звучал сегодня в ее ушах необычайно зловеще. Сьюзан не любила бывать в шифровалке в неурочные часы, поскольку в таких случаях неизменно чувствовала себя запертой в клетке с гигантским зверем из научно-фантастического романа.

Она пробовала снова и снова, но массивная плита никак не реагировала. Сьюзан тихо вскрикнула: по-видимому, отключение электричества стерло электронный код.

Она опять оказалась в ловушке.

Стратмор был уверен, что предусмотрел .

Он писал письма, отправлял их анонимному провайдеру, а несколько часов спустя этот провайдер присылал эти письма ему самому. Теперь, подумала Сьюзан, все встало на свои места. Танкадо хотел, чтобы Стратмор отследил и прочитал его электронную почту. Он создал для себя воображаемый страховой полис, не доверив свой ключ ни единой душе. Конечно, чтобы придать своему плану правдоподобность, Танкадо использовал тайный адрес… тайный ровно в той мере, чтобы никто не заподозрил обмана.

Чатрукьян принял решение и поднял телефонную трубку, но поднести ее к уху не успел. Он замер, когда его взгляд упал на монитор. Как при замедленной съемке, он положил трубку на место и впился глазами в экран. За восемь месяцев работы в лаборатории Фил Чатрукьян никогда не видел цифр в графе отсчета часов на мониторе ТРАНСТЕКСТА что-либо иное, кроме двух нулей.

Сегодня это случилось впервые. ИСТЕКШЕЕ ВРЕМЯ: 15:17:21 - Пятнадцать часов семнадцать минут? - Он не верил своим глазам.  - Это невозможно.

Сьюзан взяла себя в руки и быстро подошла к монитору Хейла. Протянула руку и нажала на кнопку. Экран погас. ГЛАВА 39 Росио Ева Гранада стояла перед зеркалом в ванной номера 301, скинув с себя одежду.

Comments: 1
  1. Zushakar

    Yes, I understand you. In it something is also to me it seems it is very excellent thought. Completely with you I will agree.

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